My Mood Board, Title yet to be finalized...
Thanks to polyvore.com!
6.16.2009
Women's Wear Style Board for Autumn/Winter 09/10
My Mood Board, Title yet to be finalized...
Thanks to polyvore.com!
2.23.2009
2009 Academy Awards
Anne Hathaway...errr... she looks like a fish in that gown.
Edward Cullen.
Wait! Or is it Robert Pattinson? I can't really tell the difference.
Patel and Pinto for slumdog millionaire! wootwot!
My Bet, Kate Winslet winning for Best Actress
Sarah Jessica Parker and Daniel Craig before presenting for best art direction.
Meryl Streep, looking rather young in an uncommon off shoulder ensemble.
Angelina Jolie, of course, who doesn't drool over how gorgeous her face is?
Phoebe Cates, wait, what?! Phoebe Cates? Are we back in the 80's?
Beautiful, Natalie Portman.
Hottie Mario Lopez.
The oh so handsome, Daniel Craig.
The most beautiful couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Dominic Cooper of MamaMia!
The best host in town, Hugh Jackman.
2.21.2009
The drama of it all
Don’t you get tired with all the drama?
I do.
Sometimes though there are people who love the drama of it all, they tend to make it all about their selves when it comes to a lot of things. I just find it hideous and it’s a big waste of time. We all get our share of problems right? Sometimes it gets blown out of proportion either because of hormones, misunderstanding, taunting, uncontrolled anger or just plain immaturity.
A lot of times, we’re better off minding our own business. Yes it’s better living the life in that very moment and enjoying every minute of it but there has to be times when you have to look back at where you came from and who you met along the way and maybe re-assess your priorities, otherwise you might end up losing yourself, your own identity and the people you love.
In the end all that really matters is that you have respect for yourself and for others and this could be the biggest cliche but really, don’t do unto others what you don’t want done unto you.
I do.
Sometimes though there are people who love the drama of it all, they tend to make it all about their selves when it comes to a lot of things. I just find it hideous and it’s a big waste of time. We all get our share of problems right? Sometimes it gets blown out of proportion either because of hormones, misunderstanding, taunting, uncontrolled anger or just plain immaturity.
A lot of times, we’re better off minding our own business. Yes it’s better living the life in that very moment and enjoying every minute of it but there has to be times when you have to look back at where you came from and who you met along the way and maybe re-assess your priorities, otherwise you might end up losing yourself, your own identity and the people you love.
In the end all that really matters is that you have respect for yourself and for others and this could be the biggest cliche but really, don’t do unto others what you don’t want done unto you.
11.29.2008
A process of sorts
eight months and counting.
i still wander in the same old bar with the same old friends. dancing to rihanna and duffy or madonna. drinking a bottle of my usual san miguel superdry and a lemon wedge while i scan and scrutinize the usual crowd, and then you spot a fresh face, you glance and drink a bit and you glance again to check if he's noticed you but he's not, so you move on to the next one, and another, until someone reciprocates.
the night turns into a few intense hours, thanks to that over-sized bluefrog, spatial and visual impairment becomes an excuse to be frisky and flirty, but the novelty of the night's adventure easily wears off, you hear the last call for alcohol and in a few minutes the lights are turned on, the washed out faces come to life and you realize it's all the more hopeless that way. some nights are lucky, you get to meet, greet and drink while most are just havin' laughs and drinks with friends.
i've subjected myself to this. a selection, collection and elimination process of sorts.
it's like being put on a conveyor belt and have machines poking at you for quality control. It's a dissection of character, intellectual content, wit, financial stability and fair market value all in the hopes of finally connecting and finding what pacifies that certain longing or even just a fleeting fancy.
i asked a friend. are we getting old or is it because we're mainstay?
i think it's because we're mainstay, he answered.
but i think it's a little bit of both.
so, it's been eight months and i'm a little weary and tired. the pessimist in me is slowly creeping out. the scene is fast becoming old and almost vintage to point.
i ask myself yet again, why i come to this bar regularly.
i still wander in the same old bar with the same old friends. dancing to rihanna and duffy or madonna. drinking a bottle of my usual san miguel superdry and a lemon wedge while i scan and scrutinize the usual crowd, and then you spot a fresh face, you glance and drink a bit and you glance again to check if he's noticed you but he's not, so you move on to the next one, and another, until someone reciprocates.
the night turns into a few intense hours, thanks to that over-sized bluefrog, spatial and visual impairment becomes an excuse to be frisky and flirty, but the novelty of the night's adventure easily wears off, you hear the last call for alcohol and in a few minutes the lights are turned on, the washed out faces come to life and you realize it's all the more hopeless that way. some nights are lucky, you get to meet, greet and drink while most are just havin' laughs and drinks with friends.
i've subjected myself to this. a selection, collection and elimination process of sorts.
it's like being put on a conveyor belt and have machines poking at you for quality control. It's a dissection of character, intellectual content, wit, financial stability and fair market value all in the hopes of finally connecting and finding what pacifies that certain longing or even just a fleeting fancy.
i asked a friend. are we getting old or is it because we're mainstay?
i think it's because we're mainstay, he answered.
but i think it's a little bit of both.
so, it's been eight months and i'm a little weary and tired. the pessimist in me is slowly creeping out. the scene is fast becoming old and almost vintage to point.
i ask myself yet again, why i come to this bar regularly.
10.23.2008
Student at 26 syn. Jobless at 26
In my dictionary: Student - a scholar, a person who attends a school, college or university
syn. jobless and/or poor. Colloquial terms may include, broke as a barber, penniless, poor as a rat etc.
I give up.
For days I've been trying to avoid checking the pictures out, but at times, curiosity kills the cat or plain nosiness gets the best of us.
I'm now looking through pictures some of my friends posted of their recent visit to Bacolod, where they spent their entire weekend and experienced the Masskara festival, like i said, for days I've been trying to avoid checking the pictures out because I know for sure that I'll only end up being envious, not because they went without me but because I know how fun an experience it would have been with them.
I couldn't go for one simple reason, I had no money.
I've been living independently for almost five years now and I have been jobless for a while, although my parents have recently put me back to school, the responsibility of providing for myself is still mine. Unlike the more privileged, I am not getting any form of allowance from them and thanks to my endless nights of partying and days of splurging I've used up all my savings now, not to mention a few debts from friends here and there. Hence, all the plans to travel has been postponed.
Yes, being a bum's fun.You have your freedom back, freedom you've lost from all the time put into work. It's great especially if you have friends who are willing to pay your spot to spend time with you. Most especially fun if you have wads and wads of cash to spend at will, haha! Now that you're free, you can do anything you want, but going back to reality, when i say anything i mean anything within your means of-course. Naturally you can't be a bum for long as it is outweighed by the negative aspects of it and you can't be a bum especially if you can't afford to be one.
This is my dilemma. It's either I see myself as a student at age 26, one with an average of 8 years difference from most of my batch mates, (which explains why i hardly get along with any of them) a student without the perks of being one (i.e living with parents with matching allowance, free board and lodging and without all the responsibility and drama of being 26) or, I can be jobless at 26 who used to be earning this much but has traded being able to "afford" to being a thriving/starving student/gimikero in hopes of finally fulfilling a life long dream. Don't get me wrong, I really wanna it to work, but finding a job with a decent pay that would be flexible enough for my school schedule is proving to be tougher than I expected.
A hard choice it is my friends, one I think I am not ready to make, or do I have really have to? I don't think i have much choice here or maybe, I'm just ranting. :)
syn. jobless and/or poor. Colloquial terms may include, broke as a barber, penniless, poor as a rat etc.
I give up.
For days I've been trying to avoid checking the pictures out, but at times, curiosity kills the cat or plain nosiness gets the best of us.
I'm now looking through pictures some of my friends posted of their recent visit to Bacolod, where they spent their entire weekend and experienced the Masskara festival, like i said, for days I've been trying to avoid checking the pictures out because I know for sure that I'll only end up being envious, not because they went without me but because I know how fun an experience it would have been with them.
I couldn't go for one simple reason, I had no money.
I've been living independently for almost five years now and I have been jobless for a while, although my parents have recently put me back to school, the responsibility of providing for myself is still mine. Unlike the more privileged, I am not getting any form of allowance from them and thanks to my endless nights of partying and days of splurging I've used up all my savings now, not to mention a few debts from friends here and there. Hence, all the plans to travel has been postponed.
Yes, being a bum's fun.You have your freedom back, freedom you've lost from all the time put into work. It's great especially if you have friends who are willing to pay your spot to spend time with you. Most especially fun if you have wads and wads of cash to spend at will, haha! Now that you're free, you can do anything you want, but going back to reality, when i say anything i mean anything within your means of-course. Naturally you can't be a bum for long as it is outweighed by the negative aspects of it and you can't be a bum especially if you can't afford to be one.
This is my dilemma. It's either I see myself as a student at age 26, one with an average of 8 years difference from most of my batch mates, (which explains why i hardly get along with any of them) a student without the perks of being one (i.e living with parents with matching allowance, free board and lodging and without all the responsibility and drama of being 26) or, I can be jobless at 26 who used to be earning this much but has traded being able to "afford" to being a thriving/starving student/gimikero in hopes of finally fulfilling a life long dream. Don't get me wrong, I really wanna it to work, but finding a job with a decent pay that would be flexible enough for my school schedule is proving to be tougher than I expected.
A hard choice it is my friends, one I think I am not ready to make, or do I have really have to? I don't think i have much choice here or maybe, I'm just ranting. :)
6.26.2008
Updates on a not so effective blogger
Two whole unpaid weeks off from work.
I had all the time in the world to make a decent blog and I couldn't come up with one. I once thought that I can probably make a living out of just writing my thoughts online but hell, it's a lot harder than i thought, not to mention that your target market if you blog here in multiply is kinda limited but what the heck, right? Ack!
Anyway, facebook has been keeping me company for the past two weeks, thank you to the genius of applications/games that I've been invited to and added, I'm now an official Mob Wars, Dope Wars and My heroes ability addict! Now they keep me glued to my PC for at least 6 hours, which roughly makes up about half the time I'm awake nowadays. If my Mom was not as much the computer game addict that she is, I would have been online for at least 12 hours. I usually just let her use it until she feels sleepy and then it's mine until I get tired of it.
I also rediscovered the remarkably enjoyable instant messaging, I get to keep in touch with people from Manila and the other parts of the world (yes, I have friends outside of this country) through MSN and Yahoo messengers.
In between playing and chatting, I check e-mails, Multiply, Friendster, Myspace and blogs that I religiously follow.
Here's my daily itinerary (not that I think anyone would care):
3-4pm: wake up
4-5pm: wonder around the house a bit and then eat my first meal.
5-10pm: watch the teevee. I've been watching TV patrol, The singing bee, Lobo, My girl. Yes, I'm a kapamilya not a kapuso. I also watch NatGeo, Lifestyle Network, etc, second avenue, HBO, Cinemax and starworld if there's anything interesting. I'm taking advantage of this being that i really don't have my own TV when I'm in manila. I also find time to play with my nephew Enzo.
10pm onwards: really, just about this time I can do anything from taking a nap, eating my 2nd and third meal of the day, midnight snacking, and yes, facing the computer and burning that DSL connection until I can, just like what I'm doing now.
It's almost 7:30 am and this is late for me, I usually sleep around 6 am.
Later today I'm bringing my lola to her therapist, so I'm waking up earlier than usual and tomorrow? MANILA here I come!!!
*** I swear I'm sooo excited to come back I'm getting butterflies in my stomach!
I had all the time in the world to make a decent blog and I couldn't come up with one. I once thought that I can probably make a living out of just writing my thoughts online but hell, it's a lot harder than i thought, not to mention that your target market if you blog here in multiply is kinda limited but what the heck, right? Ack!
Anyway, facebook has been keeping me company for the past two weeks, thank you to the genius of applications/games that I've been invited to and added, I'm now an official Mob Wars, Dope Wars and My heroes ability addict! Now they keep me glued to my PC for at least 6 hours, which roughly makes up about half the time I'm awake nowadays. If my Mom was not as much the computer game addict that she is, I would have been online for at least 12 hours. I usually just let her use it until she feels sleepy and then it's mine until I get tired of it.
I also rediscovered the remarkably enjoyable instant messaging, I get to keep in touch with people from Manila and the other parts of the world (yes, I have friends outside of this country) through MSN and Yahoo messengers.
In between playing and chatting, I check e-mails, Multiply, Friendster, Myspace and blogs that I religiously follow.
Here's my daily itinerary (not that I think anyone would care):
3-4pm: wake up
4-5pm: wonder around the house a bit and then eat my first meal.
5-10pm: watch the teevee. I've been watching TV patrol, The singing bee, Lobo, My girl. Yes, I'm a kapamilya not a kapuso. I also watch NatGeo, Lifestyle Network, etc, second avenue, HBO, Cinemax and starworld if there's anything interesting. I'm taking advantage of this being that i really don't have my own TV when I'm in manila. I also find time to play with my nephew Enzo.
10pm onwards: really, just about this time I can do anything from taking a nap, eating my 2nd and third meal of the day, midnight snacking, and yes, facing the computer and burning that DSL connection until I can, just like what I'm doing now.
It's almost 7:30 am and this is late for me, I usually sleep around 6 am.
Later today I'm bringing my lola to her therapist, so I'm waking up earlier than usual and tomorrow? MANILA here I come!!!
*** I swear I'm sooo excited to come back I'm getting butterflies in my stomach!
6.14.2008
Reasons Enough
I've reached that point and I admit, just as Paulo Nutini put it plainly "I'm no wiser than the fool that I was before."
It's been more than two years of wishful thinking, secretly hoping and bittersweet torment.
It's an enriching part of my life, I'm glad to have experienced it.
I have but one regret, and that's holding on to someone who's so not worth it.
It's heart breaking that I didn't find what I was looking for but I discovered what I needed to know and these are reasons enough to ultimately move on.
It's been more than two years of wishful thinking, secretly hoping and bittersweet torment.
It's an enriching part of my life, I'm glad to have experienced it.
I have but one regret, and that's holding on to someone who's so not worth it.
It's heart breaking that I didn't find what I was looking for but I discovered what I needed to know and these are reasons enough to ultimately move on.
6.02.2008
Thanks 4 nothin'
Alrighty, this will be the third song that I'm posting, or shall i say lyrics.
I'm posting this for lack of words to say, it's about a certain person and some certain feelings i can't really put to words myself.
This song narrates it in an exaggerated kind of way, however, it captured how i felt and what i wanted to say.
So take sometime to read the lyrics, I think this applies to most of us anyway.
I can't even know what to say
I've been hurt I've been played
And I'm so shamed
I can't even cry it's that deep
You just lie and you cheat
Like it's nothin'
See you said that you loved me too
And so I trusted you
But I guess that subconsciously I knew
But I didn't wanna face the truth
That I was only being used
And you was just frontin'
Hey boy, thanx for nothin'
I never knew enough about you babe
And I guess I only have myself to blame
Now I'm broken-hearted and shattering
Cause you were just playin' a game
Nothin' anyone could do to convince me babe
I was livin' in a lie just a masquerade
Now I only know that I'll never be the same
But you were just playin' a game
Thanx for nothin'
You were just playin' a game
Every day and every night
I stay by the phone
Never go no place so just in case
You call I'll be home
Seems like what I do is
Think about our pseudo romance
While you're somewhere burnin' diesel
In the streets havin' laughs
Somebody say you know what I'm going thru
You been left with nothin' too
Too much you can't count on one hand
Singing 3,4,5,6
7 days a week you're drowning in tears
He was so insincere
Now you're layin' up in bed
Every night singing
Hey boy, thanx for nothin'
I never knew enough about you babe
And I guess I only have myself to blame
Now I'm broken hearted and shattering
Cause you were just playin' a game
Nothin' anyone could to convince me babe
I was living in a lie just a masquerade
Now I only know that I'll never be the same
But you were just playin' a game
So thanks for nothing...
MC
I'm posting this for lack of words to say, it's about a certain person and some certain feelings i can't really put to words myself.
This song narrates it in an exaggerated kind of way, however, it captured how i felt and what i wanted to say.
So take sometime to read the lyrics, I think this applies to most of us anyway.
I can't even know what to say
I've been hurt I've been played
And I'm so shamed
I can't even cry it's that deep
You just lie and you cheat
Like it's nothin'
See you said that you loved me too
And so I trusted you
But I guess that subconsciously I knew
But I didn't wanna face the truth
That I was only being used
And you was just frontin'
Hey boy, thanx for nothin'
I never knew enough about you babe
And I guess I only have myself to blame
Now I'm broken-hearted and shattering
Cause you were just playin' a game
Nothin' anyone could do to convince me babe
I was livin' in a lie just a masquerade
Now I only know that I'll never be the same
But you were just playin' a game
Thanx for nothin'
You were just playin' a game
Every day and every night
I stay by the phone
Never go no place so just in case
You call I'll be home
Seems like what I do is
Think about our pseudo romance
While you're somewhere burnin' diesel
In the streets havin' laughs
Somebody say you know what I'm going thru
You been left with nothin' too
Too much you can't count on one hand
Singing 3,4,5,6
7 days a week you're drowning in tears
He was so insincere
Now you're layin' up in bed
Every night singing
Hey boy, thanx for nothin'
I never knew enough about you babe
And I guess I only have myself to blame
Now I'm broken hearted and shattering
Cause you were just playin' a game
Nothin' anyone could to convince me babe
I was living in a lie just a masquerade
Now I only know that I'll never be the same
But you were just playin' a game
So thanks for nothing...
MC
5.26.2008
strike two
My heart's broken, again. I have been trying to suppress my emotions, keeping check of myself, constantly looking in the mirror, even resorted to putting cheek tint to hide the sadness I feel but I've had enough of it, i can't fight it anymore. Yes, I'm heart broken and it's all my fault. I had my heart crushed by the same person that shattered it to pieces a couple of years back and the shame's all on me. thanks for nothing.
5.24.2008
Blown off
A couple of weeks ago, I asked someone to go out with me, Yes, like on a date-date type of thing. Actually, I like the person and the person liked me back (which by the way is a rarity) and I was more than looking forward to spending time with someone, out on a date, with a small possibility of being more than just a friend. Who knows? maybe even consider on taking it to the next level. I really had my hopes up for this one but that's until the unthinkable happened.
On the day we were supposed to go out, I ended staying up later than usual, I fell asleep very late in the afternoon, it's not that I don't sleep or don't like sleeping but I tend to sleep long hours, especially when I'm tired from work and nothing, i mean nothing would wake me up, well, not the alarm on my phone at least.
So I woke up after what seemed like only a few hours of sleep and checked the messages on my cellphone. There was a message from my supposed date, It was a simple goodnight message and I wondered why, it took a few seconds and then it struck me, my phone's clock says 04:30 a.m, I just f*ckin' slept through the entire night and blew my date off! I couldn't believe myself, I mean how unfortunate can this be right? I couldn't really think of anything else to do, so I resorted into sending a message with my lame-ass excuse of falling asleep, of course I asked for forgiveness only to be replied with a "who's this?" message.
Harsh, right?
Apparently not harsh enough that i didn't get the hint, and being my sometimes dense and persistent self, I asked why he deleted my number and proceeded to introduce who I am, or was in this case.
I received a reply on my inquiry after a few hours and It said.
"Hi. I was in a meeting. You asked me why I deleted your number? it's simple, that's because I don't like my plans being blown away."
Ouch! Wait until you finish reading the next part.
Yesterday, I learned the hard way that my Boracay trip would not push through for reasons I don't even want to explain, and just as I was recovering from the humiliation of not being allowed to board the plane going to my dream summer vacation, I received an unexpected call from an unexpected person ( I'm inserting this because some people get confused - it's not the same person ) and I was asked to go out, not really on a date but I was asked to go out and meet up none the less. I couldn't say no because we had a special "past" and so I accepted the invite not out of vulnerability but of longing.
A couple of hours passed and I didn't receive any updates, this was after exchanging a few text messages after our conversation. I thought maybe it's a little later, like gimmick time which usual starts midnight.
So I waited, and waited, and waited and fell asleep waiting and woke up past midnight already and I never received any message back from the person, and it hit me, I was being blown off. I dunno if deliberately, but I was stood up and it doesn't feel good and I suddenly remembered how hateful it is when someone does it to you. It's that feeling of rejection once more, now I understand the reason behind the not so friendly treatment I got from the first person I mentioned.
I guess It doesn't matter whether If it was done on purpose or not. Shit happens right? However, it showed a lot about my character and it wasn't an admirable one. I learned my lesson, Be a man of your words and believe me, I learned it the hard way.
On the day we were supposed to go out, I ended staying up later than usual, I fell asleep very late in the afternoon, it's not that I don't sleep or don't like sleeping but I tend to sleep long hours, especially when I'm tired from work and nothing, i mean nothing would wake me up, well, not the alarm on my phone at least.
So I woke up after what seemed like only a few hours of sleep and checked the messages on my cellphone. There was a message from my supposed date, It was a simple goodnight message and I wondered why, it took a few seconds and then it struck me, my phone's clock says 04:30 a.m, I just f*ckin' slept through the entire night and blew my date off! I couldn't believe myself, I mean how unfortunate can this be right? I couldn't really think of anything else to do, so I resorted into sending a message with my lame-ass excuse of falling asleep, of course I asked for forgiveness only to be replied with a "who's this?" message.
Harsh, right?
Apparently not harsh enough that i didn't get the hint, and being my sometimes dense and persistent self, I asked why he deleted my number and proceeded to introduce who I am, or was in this case.
I received a reply on my inquiry after a few hours and It said.
"Hi. I was in a meeting. You asked me why I deleted your number? it's simple, that's because I don't like my plans being blown away."
Ouch! Wait until you finish reading the next part.
Yesterday, I learned the hard way that my Boracay trip would not push through for reasons I don't even want to explain, and just as I was recovering from the humiliation of not being allowed to board the plane going to my dream summer vacation, I received an unexpected call from an unexpected person ( I'm inserting this because some people get confused - it's not the same person ) and I was asked to go out, not really on a date but I was asked to go out and meet up none the less. I couldn't say no because we had a special "past" and so I accepted the invite not out of vulnerability but of longing.
A couple of hours passed and I didn't receive any updates, this was after exchanging a few text messages after our conversation. I thought maybe it's a little later, like gimmick time which usual starts midnight.
So I waited, and waited, and waited and fell asleep waiting and woke up past midnight already and I never received any message back from the person, and it hit me, I was being blown off. I dunno if deliberately, but I was stood up and it doesn't feel good and I suddenly remembered how hateful it is when someone does it to you. It's that feeling of rejection once more, now I understand the reason behind the not so friendly treatment I got from the first person I mentioned.
I guess It doesn't matter whether If it was done on purpose or not. Shit happens right? However, it showed a lot about my character and it wasn't an admirable one. I learned my lesson, Be a man of your words and believe me, I learned it the hard way.
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