Recovering

We've all loved a lot and hurt a lot but somehow managed to recover through it all. In our lifetime, people has come and gone and even those who we think will stay for good leave us behind. We get ourselves into thinking that they will be with us forever and plan and live our lives around them. It's probably selfish for us to think that the people who we hold closest to our hearts will never leave our side, chances are, they most likely will and it's quite inevitable. It hurts too much but thats the circle of life.

My mom told me once that God sometimes breaks our spirits to save our soul, breaks our hearts to make us whole, pain is given so we can be stronger and sometimes sends us to failure to become humble, ultimately He sometimes takes everything away from us so that we learn the value of everything He gave us.

It's not hard to believe that this has some truth to it because it happens to us day in and day out, the harshness of reality sometimes bites when we least expect it, that's what sucks about it. We can only do our best and being Pinoy we have that natural resiliency and optimism which helps us all recover from the bruises of being left behind, let's admit it though, we sometimes can't help but deny the truth and pretend that we've moved on with our lives, we say we've accepted what happened but we only end up spending precious time in fear of being hurt again. Precious time that should've been spent on more important matters. We forget that what's important is that we keep these peoples memories alive in our hearts and continue on living in the today and not the shadow of the past. I know it's easy to say but it beats the hell out of sulking in your room and being all dramatic about life right?

So what's my point then? Well, lets just say that whatever pulls us through all of this is something we are all capable of. We may not fully understand why it happens but isn't it comfort enough knowing that there are a lot of things in store for us in the future? I might never get to fully grasp what it actually means to move on or let go, but I always keep in mind that the only thing constant in this world is change and all of the human race go through it.

All I can really say is that we somehow make it through because we find our saving grace, be it in our hearts or other peoples', maybe in the little things that happens to us every day, like the simple smile of a stranger or the mere hello or text message, or a hug from a friend. I found mine in the most unlikely place and in the most unlikely situation, who knows yours might just be under your nose, picking on you and bitching you around.

***posted 12.06.2006